Yeah, I'm Still Breathing - BARELY

It has been so long since I have posted anything. I have enjoyed reading the posts from friends and family. Thanks for not slacking!
I don't know if I should dedicate this post to my driving ability or my speaking ability!!! I can turn words around so that, to me, they make sense, but to the normal person, it doesn't!! For example, I was trying to tell someone about 1983, the year of the floods. I described it as the "Year the lake was under water". Yeah, they laughed!!
But don't discount my driving talents. I have not only dented every car I've owned, I wrecked 3 cars BEFORE I got my driver's licence. Thus the nickname, "Truckin' Annie" (Thanks Mean Dean)
Well, either way you look at it, this if funny stuff that I want to share!

The following was published by an insurance company for internal distribution. These reports were submitted when policy-holders were asked for a brief statement describing their particular accident. An Ann Landers reader sent them in from Raleigh, N.C.

1. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.

2. I thought my window was down but found it was up when I put my hand through it.

3. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

4. The guy was all over the place. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

5. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

6. The accident occured when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle.

7. I was driving my car out of the driveway in the usual manner, when it was struck by the other car in the same place it had been struck several times before.

8. I was on my way to the doctor's with rear-end trouble when my universal joint gave way, causing me to have an accident.

9. As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

10. The telephone pole was approaching fast. I was attempting to swerve out of its path when it struck my front end.

11. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.

12. My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

13. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle and vanished.

14. When I saw I could not avoid a collision, I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car.

15. The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran him over.

16. I saw the slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.

17. Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

18.The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

Let's just say, I have other talents!! Hell Yeah!!!