Thursday, October 30, 2008

Making It

I was talking with my daughter about spiritual things. She told me she was worried because in her words, "What if I don't make it because I'm not good enough?" If there is one thing that I am quite sure of, is that I am going to ' make it'. For some reason, I have not had that worry. I know I'm not perfect and that I make dumb mistakes, but I also believe that you are judged on the intent of your heart, and in some cases, that state of your mind! I believe the atonement works and that repentance and forgiveness is a gift. I guess I base my beliefs on experiences that I have had. When I think of a loving Heavenly Father, the following story comes to mind.

When I was a little girl, my mom taught me how to dust, get a clean rag and wipe things down. We then went into the bathroom for more learning. She told me that wiping things down, like dusting, makes it clean, but if you want something REALLY clean, you would use Comet. We then cleaned the bathroom.
Days later, I was thinking, what could I do to help my mom. I noticed that her bedroom set was dusty. I wanted to REALLY clean it, so I got the Comet, sprinkled it on her wood furniture, wet my rag, and began to clean. As I scrubbed, I noticed it didn't look cleaner, in fact, it looked worse than when I started. I felt like I had done something wrong, so I left my project and went out to play.
When mom saw what was done, she lovingly took me in the bedroom and explained that Comet was only for the bathroom and kitchen and not the bedroom. She still loved me.

As I grew up, I reflected on that experience and was AMAZED that she didn't beat the living tar out of me! I had ruined the finish on her only piece of new furniture she had every owned up to that point! It took years for her to save the money to have it refinished.
I compare that to my Heavenly Father's love. I'll bet he watches us make mistakes and shakes his head A LOT! And yet, I can see him lovingly know that we were doing the best we knew at that moment. Like my mom, he still loves us, forgives us and hopes that we learn from our experiences. I think we all will 'make it' if we just keep trying!

Thursday, October 23, 2008

The Illusion of Control

I am surprised by what is considered to be 'control'. When I hear people talk about their accomplishments or gifts, I often hear the phrase, “You just have to want it bad enough.” So wanting is the only prerequisite of achieving? I think not! If that is all it took, every team would win their game, everyone would be healthy and prosperous, you get the picture. Granted, persistence, hard work, knowledge, these are things that should not be ignored. But do we really have the control over all aspects of our lives?

When Alec was in 1st grade, his class went on a field trip to the canyons. Mr. Chapman took them on a nature walk, pointing out different foliage, wildlife, and the beauties of nature. When we got back into the bus, I noticed that Alec had a grasshopper sitting on his finger. This was amazing to me, because they usually don’t stay in one place for very long, yet this grasshopper seemed to be content to stay with Alec. (I did, however, notice that it was missing a leg.) His class mates were so intrigued. They crowded around him to see this treasure. One friend asked him how he got him to stay on his finger. Alec told him, “I trained him!” --The illusion of control--. Alec was naive enough to think that he had control over the grasshopper. I have asked him about this incident lately and he told me, he really thought that he trained him. After that grasshopper died, he found others, removed their leg and then couldn’t understand why they weren’t ‘trained’.

I am intrigued by the paradox of agency and yet God being in control. I heard it once said that we are in charge of the ingredients of controlling our lives, but God is in charge of the outcome. What are your thoughts?

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Somethings About Me

Who are your last 4 texts from?

Weather bug, Haley, Melanie and Judy

What's your middle name?


Whats your current favorite color?


Does your crush like you back?

Oh yeah! He wants me BAD!

What color shirt are you wearing?


If you were going on a Reality TV show, which one would it be?

I would LOVE to do “The Swan”

Are you imagining anyone naked right now?

No, are you?

Ever had a near death experience?

I felt like it was! When I was river rafting and thrown into Kahuna.
I didn’t know “Lunch Counter” was around the corner and it kept swallowing me up! I was a little traumatized!

Something you do a lot?

Walk, Play Solitaire, Laundry, Watch TV

How old will you be in 12 months?

Fifty two-riffic

Do you want to see somebody right now?

I am really missing Jackie (Buhler) Vernon

Who would you do anything for?

My Family – Immediate and Extended!

Who is your hero?

Mother Teresa

What's your biggest fear?

Hitting someone in my car!

Speak any other languages?

Ya zeker! Dutch

Whats your favorite smell?

New Dollys

Do you like to sleep naked?

Heck No! I chafe!

Have you ever kissed in the rain?

Not that I can remember

Do you like rain?

Yes I do!

What are you thinking about right now?

What I need to get done after work today.

What’s your favorite memory?

Performing with the Rock Band!

What are you listening to?

Joe Cocker – “You Are So Beautiful”

Have you ever been kissed?

Oh Yeah!

Who was the last person you yelled at?

Chimi! Ok, he’s not a person, but he barks TOO MUCH!

Who is the last person you said I love you to?


Who is the last person that made you smile?


Monday, October 20, 2008

Word To Live By Alec - Missions Plans

Alec is really quite a modest person, if you call boxers modest.

When he went to Catalina, he spent the entire weekend in his wet suit or boxers and a hoodie. That is how he lives around the house! Not necesssarily the wet suit, but definately boxers and a tee shirt.

When Glenn and Amy were here, they were talking about his mission. They asked, "What if you are called to Alaska?"

He said, "I'll take Jack (his Huskey) as my companion.

They asked, "What if you go to Guatelama?" His answer? "No pants!"

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Word To Live By Alec - Good Idea/Bad Idea

Good idea - drinking milk right from the carton.

Bad idea - drinking milk right from the cow.

Be Kind To Everyone You Meet - We Are All Fighting a Battle.

In the Old Testament, the people were taught, An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. In my younger days, this seemed to give me silent permission to be mean to anyone who was mean to me. It made sense, if you hit me, I get to hit you back - If you talk trash about me, I can talk trash about you. To me, that is an example of fighting fire with fire. Well, I have found out that when you fight fire with fire, you just get a big, destructive sweltering fire! This never brought me peace. I then adopted the theory of fighting fire with water.

As I awkwardly tried to practice this theory, I ran across Steven Covey’s 7 Habit that seemed to help describe this in a more eloquent way, “Seek to understand, then be understood.” I find this to be much more challenging, yet in the long run, much more rewarding.

When someone is in your face, literally screaming and accusing you, it’s difficult to look at them calmly, realizing that their anger is not about you, but about some inadequacy they feel, or weakness in themselves that is over-whelming to them.
In general, people are most impatient with other people when it involves their own personal weaknesses. When you are guilty of an action or thought, suddenly it’s everywhere you look! I can’t tell you how many times I have heard of someone in the news that condemns others about illegal or immoral actions only to find out later that they are guilty of the same, if not worse, action.

What you notice in others, seem to be what you are judging about yourself.

I'm always curious about the people I notice. I know that Haley notices thin people. Kellie, do you notice all of the pregnant people? I would like to say that I notice the well-balanced, secure, happy, beautiful people. Yeah, that's it!

That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Word To Live By Alec - On Scripture References

When the kids were finally old enough to be left on their own, Paul and I went out for a needed date. As we were sitting in the restaurant, Pauls cell phone rang, it was Melanie. She asked, "Alec wants to know if he can go to Joes." Paul asked, "Has he finished his work?" Melanie turned to Alec and asked, "Did you finish your work?" He answered, "Yes." Melanie relayed the message, "Yes".
Paul asked, "Did he really finish, every jot and tiddle?" Melanie turned to Alec and asked, "Did you use the bathroom?"

That's when it made us realize, we need to do more scripture study as a family!

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

The Difference Between Men and Women, EVERYTHING!

President Uchdorf spoke at the Women's Conference about the difference between men and women. His example was basically, when a woman cooks a meal, it's a beautiful, delicious spread, yet she still criticises her culinary expertise. He said, when ever he makes fried eggs and toast, he pats himself on the back and is very proud! I got a big kick out of that! How is that like my life?!?!
I got up Saturday morning and began cleaning. I started laundry, unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher, pulled weeds in the front flower bed and scrubbed both bathrooms. I sat down for a minute when Haley came over to visit and she said, "What have you been doing?" My first thought was, "Nothing." because the house still needed vacuuming, dusting, mopping, window washing, and don't even get me started on the yard work. When I started thinking about it, I had done A LOT! I ignored the rest of the house and began to scrapbook! Yeah, I paid for not finishing, later, but I felt so masculine! I had patted myself on the back and celebrated!

Last week, Elliot gave me a book to read. It is called "Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys". Evidently, Pres. Uchdorf barely scratched the surface. At one point, while reading it, I had to close the book for a minute. I was laughing so hard, I began to cry!

He not only wrote about the difference between men and women, but also between men and guys. In his book he made a "Stimulus-Response Comparison Chart" He states, "if a woman sees and untamed river in the wilderness and woman response would be to contemplate its beauty. A typical Man response would be to build a dam. A typical Guy response would be to see who can pee the farthest off the dam." It just gets better from there!

I am surprised how I, surrounded by boys growing up, still ended up with such feminine characteristics and Paul, surrounded by women, still ended up with not only men traits, but guy traits as well. I guess it just proves that it is innate! It's our DNA! It just proves to me the importance of Psychologists and Counselors. As long as there are two genders, we will ALWAYS need counseling!